Ok, ok, couldn't resist. :-)
http://www.clean-funnies.com/html/f412.htm
! Dead Blondes Do Not Lie !
What do you call a skeleton in a closet?
The 1983 Blonde Hide and Seek Champion.
A.K.A
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like for your life... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!
Q: What does a smart blonde and a UFO have in common?
A: You are always hearing about them, but you never actually see one.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: Takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look! Doughnut seeds!
Q: What do you call a blonde dyed brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What do you call three blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What did the brain surgeon said when he was up to operate on a Blonde's mind?
A: Space! The final frontier!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the W's!
Q:How can you tell if a blonde's been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: By the "M&M" shells on the counter top.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for a week?
A: Hand her a box of "M&M"'s and have her alphabetize them.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: How do you know a blond has been using your computer?
A: There is white out all over your monitor.
Q: Which one can vote? A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the third grade together.
A: The blonde, she's 18!
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear!
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9!
Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A: She was run over by the Zambonis machine!
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel!
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: How do you keep a blonde occupied for weeks?
A: Give her a piece of paper that says "please turn over" on both sides.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an AM radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Did you hear about the D.O.T. requiring all vehicles with turn signal mounted dimmer switches for the headlights to be placed on the floor?
A: They are doing it because too many blonds kept getting
thier foot caught in the steering wheel!
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A: scroll down, scroll up
Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They all drowned during spring training.
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look they spelled Macy's wrong"
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A Golden Labrador.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Very fortunate and gifted!
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: What does a blond and a coke bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: None, they are all true.
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes at a four way stop.
Q: Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Q: How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
A: It has a an image of a stamp in the corner.
Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911?
A: They can't find the eleven on the phone!
Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How do you drown a Blonde?
A: Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for Winter".
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: By throwing it off of a cliff.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A: By drowning it.
Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower?
A: Give her a bottle of shampoo that says "Wash, rinse, and repeat."
Q: What's black and blue and red and brown all over?
A: A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
Q: What is the difference between an intelligent blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot's been sighted.
Q: If there was a 50$ bill in the middle of the road, who would get there first? Santa Claus, smart blonde or a dumb blonde?
A: The dumb blonde, because there is no such thing as Santa Claus or a smart blonde.
Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
A: That's where you clean vegetables!
Q: Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb?
A: To help out the blonde that's been trying for weeks.
Q: How do you recognize a blonde at the airport?
A: She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes.
Dayvorce'S Dead Church
